We're Off!

Well, when I move my butt from here and pack ... and get kids organised we will be!

So nervous? Funny thing is, I don't feel nervous, but I have a mouth ulcer! Most of my big events through life that I should be nervous for and feel fairly calm, you can guarantee I will get mouth ulcers ... strange, but sure sign my body knows I'm nervous, even if my mind doesn't :)

So goals, expectations?

C Goal = finishing. It's my first marathon, that's probably all I should be worrying about, but I'm a number obsessed, goal setting Capricorn so of course I need more than that. Although just finishing WILL be enough if it comes to that :)

B Goal = 4:30ish - just over would be fine, just under would be fine.

A Goal = less than 4:30ish.

If I was doing flat London, on a good day, everything going perfect, I'd be fairly confident of the A Goal. Rotorua, however, is a much harder course, it has a couple of big hills and is hilly so I think realistically 4:30 will be a very good time.

So, off to pack and get ready to go - if nothing else it should be a fun weekend with the family :)

Thanks for all your support over the last 10 months, it has been a huge journey and I'm excited to be at the final destination!

We're away until Monday so I probably won't update until then.

1, 2, 3 ... Awwwwwww

Our local paper runs a "Queen for a Day" competition each year for Mother's Day. Rhiannon came home last week with the page and form from the newspaper and said her teacher gave it to her and said (demanded! LOL) that she write a letter and put it in. To be quite honest, I think mothers who deal with very sick children, or do it on their own, and lots of other situations probably deserve the prize more than I do, but hey, reading what my 11yo had to say about me is pretty cool on its own ;)

So here's her letter ... ready to go "awwwwww" :)

My Mum Lisa Beck is a very cool and good Mum. She never yells or anything! She deserves to be queen for a day because she is the best! My mum has to look after 4 children recently 5 as David has gone to university this year. 2 girls and 3 boys ages 8, 11, 14, 15, and 18.
She has to run after us all the time taking us to netball, gymnastics, cricket, soccer and dance practices and games and to school and friends houses. She always comes and watches our games. As well as that my Mum has quite a few jobs. She does stamping up, delivers power bills, she works at Simpson Grierson, helps us with delivering our pamphlets and is a board of trustee member at our school.
My Mum always cooks good meals and always gives us a treat every now and then. She always knows what we need like if we need new clothes or school things. And she never gives us something that we don’t like because she knows us to well.
Just recently my Mum has had a very disappointing and stressful week. Last year she won the BIG spot prize at the Wellington run. She won a prize to go run the London Marathon. After that she trained and trained. She lost 30kg with weight watchers, running and biking. Mount Eyjafallajokull erupted so all the ash was in the air. My Mum and Dad were one of the unlucky people that missed their flights to Europe. Last Monday they were meant to go to London but instead stayed home because of the ash. But my Mum nether gave up. She would be more disappointed if all the training went to waist. But luckily enough there was a marathon in Rotarua a week after she was meant to run the London marathon. This is why my Mum deserves to queen for a day. I love my Mum!

Spelling and grammar mistakes are all her own, the typist/proof reader in me had to bite my tongue hard and resist fixing them!!

I don't talk about my kids a whole lot here, but they are great kids which makes looking after them pretty easy. We don't ever have a lot of problems with them, they're pretty easy going and quite happy to work hard at school and at their sports which makes running after them worthwhile. An example of how good they are - the Friday before we were due to fly out we had a big load of firewood delivered. It arrived while both David and I were at work - by the time David got home, they had put it all away in the shed (stacked properly) to surprise him :) I get lots of remarks about "wow ... FIVE kids, you must be crazy/tired/etc", but really - they are worth it!

... and that's enough gushing for the day ;)

THREE sleeps to go!!

One week to go!

Running 13km, trying to find a comfortable marathon pace, felt a bit like Groundhog Day today! I ran exactly the same last week ;) But after today, I'm onto the "real" last week of tapering.

I ended up running 22km on Wednesday, the next day my marathon running mother, friend, school mother ... told me I was silly and shouldn't have, whoops! too late ;) Honestly though, I felt I needed to - even if it was just a mental thing. I wasn't totally silly, I had two options when I got to about 20km, carrying on the long way home and making it 25, or going the short way and making it 22 - I was starting to feel tired and a bit sore about the butt/hips so I chose the shorter option. I ran it pretty slowly, Deirdre ran the first 9km with me and kept me slow (she is recovering from her marathon just over a week ago), and then I kept about the same pace for the rest of it.

How am I dealing with the disappointment? Pretty well actually. Trying to explain to "painful" Janice at work, when she was doing her usual talking over the top of me with a group of us, that no, I wasn't "hiding" my disappointment, I was disappointed, I can't change it, I've moved on and I'm looking to the future, and looking forward to what might be in the future. London isn't going anywhere, we'll get there one day. In fact, I've just ticked the withdrawal part of the my registration form and written a letter to go with it, and I'm sending it off this morning. The travel agent, who hasn't been particularly helpful, told me they only defer overseas entries, but I can't see anywhere on the rules or website that actually says that - so I'm sending it in, with a bit of a sob-story (but not too sobby! LOL) and am hoping that they will be nice and defer until next year.

Meanwhile, I need my body AND my mind to be ready for next week, so I'm refocussing on that and I'm looking forward to being able to call myself a marathoner :)

Meanwhile I'll leave you with the lyrics of "The Climb" ... Mylie Cyrus does nothing for me (especially with 8yo and 11yo girls at home who always seems to have those high pitched sweety yucky voices on TV) ... but the lyrics of this song really speak to me :)

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa

Happy running this weekend everyone :)

Journey to a Marathon

... and the journey is what it is about, the destination has changed, but it has, and is, still a journey.

Along the journey I've lost nearly 30kg, I've become a runner, and a not so bad runner, I've gained in confidence, I've learnt so much.

The destination will be Rotorua on the 1st of May, rather than London on 25th of April.

Along my 41yo journey I've tried hard to focus on the positive and not to stress over what you can't change ... I'm trying hard to keep that attitude now.

A family holiday for 4-5 days in Rotorua, my whole family supporting me, and a marathon is a marathon (albeit MUCH more hilly than I was expecting!).

Originally I said I'd definitely do London next year. David and I have talked and we're thinking about using the refunded money we should get and putting it towards the whole family going to Disney, I'd get to ran that Birthday marathon I only dreamed about doing, and it would be a family holiday of a lifetime. The $18K total airfare has me cringing ... but we're going to work on it.

So, yeah, disappointed and still in disbelief that such a crappy situation had to happen just as we were off for our much anticipated trip ... but we'll try our hardest to make sure we can turn it into a positive :)

Thanks for all the thoughts!

Now, one question ... I've got an extra week in my taper, I've followed the programme so closely, I'm not sure what to do! At this stage I'm thinking of running a slow 20-25k on Wednesday, and then doing the 1.5wk taper as per the programme, do you think that sounds okay? I'm not sure about a FOUR week taper, seems too long to me?

Plan B

Because, I've got to have a Plan B, I need a plan ... this waiting on Act of God stuff is just doing my head in.

Firstly though - Ewa - the marathon organiser basically said no plan b, can't book flights later on because no room on any flights. Only UK people get their entry deferred so I haven't even got that little bit of "hey, at least my entry will stand for next year".

S0, maybe pessimistic, maybe realistic ... I'm not hopeful about that ash clearing very quickly, the volcano is still bellowing it out, until it stops the skies aren't going to clear in a hurry, unless the wind changes dramatically.

I'm still hoping that it will magically right itself by Monday night, or at least look like it is so our flight goes off expecting to make it. I'll talk to Air NZ tomorrow about whether there are any possible seats later on in the week.

If it all turns to custard? Plan B.

1. Rotorua marathon is a week after London, at this stage it looks like I can still enter ... that way my training won't have gone to waste and I'll still run a marathon.

2. I'll be putting my name down with the travel agent for London next year. I can't let go and not do it ... the "journey" will just be that much longer.

Hopefully Plan B won't have to happen ... but I feel slightly better having it :)

Meanwhile, I ran a nice 13k this morning - tried to stick to an easy, comfortable pace going by feel which hit at just under 6:00/km ... still not sure what to aim for when I run the marathon, but it felt mostly good this morning, and felt good running a longish run after all the little ones during the week!

Keep on crossing everything, I still want to make it to London!!

How stressed am I??

Almost in tears stressed ... why, just when I am going to do the biggest thing I've ever done in my life does a natural disaster have to happen?

All flights in and out of Britain grounded.

Who knows for how long.

We fly out Monday night - as of today, they've cancelled the latest flights, tonights are going at this stage, but they're advising travellers not to bother and try to rebook or cancel.

What else can I say?

Stressed. to the max.

I can handle missing a few days holiday, I'd be disappointed, but it would be okay. If I have to miss the marathon, I would be incredibly, unspeakably gutted. My body feels great, I'm ready, I'm not even nervous, just excited and ready for it to happen.

Keep everything crossed, pray, or whatever works ... that there is no more ash and what is there clears, quickly!

The Great Forest Half Marathon

I broke 2hrs!! Yayyyyy!!

Official Results:
1:57:41
232/415 Total Finishers
58/182 Female Finishers
10/36 Age Group Finishers

I've come a long way from being worried about being last :)

and if you're number crazy like me, the splits -

1km - 5:31
2km - 5:36
3km - 5:41
4km - 5:53
5km - 5:45
6km - 5:41
7km - 5:36
8km - 5:50
9km - 5:32
10km - 5:36
11km - 5:37
12km - 5:35
13km - 5:37
14km - 5:49
15km - 5:33
16km - 5:36
17km - 5:27
18km - 5:33
19km - 5:32
20km - 5:29
0.92km - 5:06

I struggled with not going to fast in the beginning, even though everyone seemed to be passing me (and I'm sure I caught up to them and passed most of those people later on). A couple of the earlier slower k's I think were actually the GPS having trouble in the trees, a couple of times I looked down at it and saw either really fast or really slow times when I knew I was holding pretty steady, I think that 8km 5:50 was one of those, and then the slightly fast 5:32 was evening it out.

I knew 5:42/k was the 2hr pace, so tried to keep my overall pace to nothing above 5:40, allowing a little time for a gel stop at 13k - turns out I did that pretty fast anyway, opened it before the drink stop while I was running, had most of it and then just had a good drink and carried on.

I would have liked to have gone just a bit faster at the end, but I was well and truly tired, I did managed slightly fast splits though :)

The "expert" runners I know have all said how great it is to break that 2hrs on that particular course, apparently it is a slow one.

Great course though! It is all through forest (near a beach) and logging tracks, so most of it is on packed gravel roads, although there were quite a few places of loose sand which made running a bit harder. The worst of it, I thought, was catching up to the walkers who left earlier and having to watch footing with the sand and rocks plus trying to dodge around them, nothing major, but definitely made it harder.

It was a sunny, hot day, but you didn't really notice until you ran into the odd "no tree" places, because the trees acted as shelter the whole time.

Lovely family atmosphere. My older sister ran the half marathon as well (1:48), her 17yo son ran the 10k and my niece was there to hang out with my two girls and make sure they made it to the 5km start - they ran together in 37min (not bad considering neither of them have done any running at all!). I was there before they finished so I could cheer them in ... they looked very sweet running in together, and I didn't have my camera!

We sat around and had some lunch in the sunshine and just before I knew Deirdre would be finishing, who was running her marathon that we've been training together for, I walked out a couple of k and then ran with her to the end - she did good, 4:25 and looked tired, but pretty good when she finished.

So, now its serious tapering, next long run is *only* 13km next weekend!

My legs feel great ... but my toes are smashed, they were sore after the 35k last weekend, after yesterday one of my big toes is hurting, I think it needs a needle stuck in it, not sure whether I'm willing to do it though ;) I should be running yesterdays run of 6.5k today, but I think I will leave it and give the toes a rest. 21k running hardish, rather than 19 easy, should make up for the missed 6.5! I've got to go out on my bike today, so I think I'll shift my days up for the week, make today cross training day, run tomorrow, with the days pushed up, I'll run next Monday as well before we fly out later on that night ... we'll be on an aeroplane on Tuesday when I'd normally be running (maybe I could run up and down the aisles for 4km?).

Yessss ... only one week until we spent about 24hrs flying, oh yay ... I'm not looking forward to that part!

Hope everyone else is having a good weekend :)

18 days to go!

It's coming so fast now, when I first won the prize it was a huge 10mths away, people kept asking if I was going soon, or had I done it yet ... I'm not sure that most of those people had any concept of training and running for a marathon! But that 10mths has gone so quickly, but at the same time so slowly, I had a lot to do to build myself up to be ready ... and I feel ready!

Not a whole lot going on around here, its school holidays which doesn't help my eating ... at all. Self control would be a good thing, I mean, I didn't have to get a burger and fries at McDonalds yesterday, I know full well that a low pointed wrap and if I really felt like a treat, a smoothie ... would have been fine - but no I went for the fat, calorie filled burger and fries. Although I've lost a weight, I still have a long long way to go to changing habits forever and keeping it off.

My runs have been good this week, I am loving the Forerunner ... definitely no regrets making that investment. So far I haven't found any problems with it at all. I'd read up on it before I got it (the 405) and I know one of the complaints was only three options on the screen - I've set it up so my "first" screen has the time taken, current pace and distance. I've then got the "second" screen set up with two options - overall pace and current lap pace, I have it set to medium scrolling and it works perfectly. Another complaint seemed to be the sensitive or awkward Bezzel, well, once its all set up, it is easy to lock it, even though that is locked the start/stop buttons aren't - so it is easy to start/stop the watch, and then when you are completely finished, switch the bezzel back on, I'm not sure of any reason why you would need it unlocked while you were running (then again, I haven't gone into the training details of the watch, so maybe you need it then). So far I have no complaints whatsoever :)

Running this week -

Tuesday - 8km
I started off slow to test how my legs felt and then just went with how I felt, did a great run with negative splits.

Wednesday - 10km
I haven't run 10km for a while, for some reason that distance doesn't come in the training programme very often. I've been thinking for a while that I could probably run 10km in under 55min now ... so yesterday I decided to try it :) Another awesome paced out run (I amaze myself! LOL), I won't type out the splits, but they went from 5:40ish down to the last couple being 5:16, 5:12 ... first 5k was 28min, second 5k was 26:20 - making a 54:20 10km ... and it wasn't even "that" hard.

Absolutely unbelieveable to think that March last year I ran my first 10km and it took me 1:12 ... I'm still incredibly proud of that race and that time, I never thought I'd ever run that far and it was an absolute buzz. But I'm amazed how far I've come, and I've said it before so many times ... not just me, but how the human body can be trained to do it!

I had to drop off the car to be serviced and fixed this morning so I mapped out 8km from there and ran home (being a runner is quite handy sometimes! LOL) - I wanted to try a 5:40 pace to see how I feel, I'm sort of thinking of aiming for that at Saturday's half marathon. If I can do it, it will be under two hours, which I'm not really set on doing, it was my next goal when I came back from London, so I'm not too concerned if I can't do it. My plan is to run it pretty easy to start, if 5:40 feels easy, then that is what I will run, if it's feeling too hard, I will slow down. So today I managed to keep at 5:37/km the whole 8k, and felt pretty good ... still not sure whether I will feel good after 21km at that speed though - I'll find out in a couple of days! The biggest thing that will stop me is the route, it is called "The Great Forest Run" because it is run through forest, no roads, and quite a bit of sand ... so word is is that it is a slower course because it is harder to run on.

Deirdre is running her marathon that day, so I'll be there to cheer her off at the start and then will probably run back and run the last couple of ks with her to the end.

I was going to bring Cameron with me, plus the girls because David is working. They have a kids 5km race which Charlotte would probably like to do and Cameron was going to run it with her. But David just told me that Cameron has soccer practice on Saturday morning, *bad words* typical, middle weekend of the holidays - do they not think we might want to do family things? Grrrrrrr ... and its try outs for 1st/2nd 11 at college so he can't really miss it. Deirdre's family will be there so the girls should be okay to tag along with them, but annoying when I had it all worked out!

I think thats all the rambling I have today! Off to hang out washing and tidy up our family room ... having no car means we are stuck at home with just tidying up to do ;)

Long Run and Hardest Training - Done!

Yep ... 35km (21.75 mile) is done! Now its tapering ... last "hard" run will be a half marathon next weekend, I haven't decided whether to push it for that or just take it easy, gut instinct says take it easy ... but we'll see how I feel on the day ;)

So, yeah, 35km ... training programme said 32km for the second long run, but right from the beginning I'd said I wanted to do 35k, just so in my head I knew I was closer to the marathon distance.

I did this one on my own, Deirdre did offer to run some of it (her marathon is next weekend), but I wanted a practice run ... drinking at each 5km, gels at about each 10k and seeing if I could twitter from my phone as I rang, also needed to know my head space could do it on my own. Also wanted to use my Forerunner to try and pace myself at a 6:20-6:25 pace.

Mapped out the run and it fitted perfectly - my usual about 10k block, once around the whole river run (about 10k), down the beach a bit and then up the road from beach to top of river and then down the river track and then home ... nice sections, I find it easier working section by section rather than thinking about the whole run.

So! off I went! (and I can give you splits, yay! so much fun ;)).

1-5km: 6:07, 6:06, 6:16, 6:20, 6:13
Working hard at trying to keep to 6:20-6:25 pace, it was hard, but I did start getting it and eventually seemed to make that 6:20 most of the time.

6-10km: 6:20, 6:21, 6:19, 6:25, 6:10
Hit that pace! had a quick walk for a drink and quick tweet at that 6km. Not sure about 9km, I think that was crossing the road and heading into the wind. Then, as I do, I subconsciously sped up knowing that I was nearly finished that first section and it would be time for a drink and gel.

11-15km: 7:41, 6:14, 6:17, 6:18, 6:33
11km was a drink and gel walk/stop then onto up the river. The 6:33 was quite an eye opener, I wasn't going a whole lot slower (well I was, the same effort I suppose) but looking at the elevation it really goes up at the end of the river (makes sense, the waters rushing down!) but more than that, it is really rocky - my least favourite part of the river run - so watching the feet and making sure I don't turn an ankle or anything obviously slows you down!

16-20km: 6:47, 6:14, 6:21, 6:18, 6:13
16km was a drink stop and tweet as I walked across the bridge ready to run down the other side. Rest was more of trying to keep that pace in the 6:20's. With the stops my overall pace was sitting nicely at 6:25ish all the way, so really I was right on track! I was feeling pretty good here as well, down the river on that side is a much nicer run, and more downhill than it looks ;)

21-25km: 6:17, 7:16, 6:15, 6:14, 6:15
Made myself keep running right to the end of the river trail and then stopped and walked for a gel and drink (the 7:16) that was right on the half marathon distance - half marathon distance was 2:15 something ... pretty spot on to what I was aiming for, maybe slightly faster. Its at about 22-23km that it got hard. The road going from the beach to the top of the river is long, and boring, and it had got hotter - especially coming out from next to the river and under trees to the road. I stopped worrying about my pace at about this point and just started slogging. Funny enough, if anything I started going faster rather than slower!

26-28km: 6:19, 6:18, 7:04
Just three, this is the last three up the road ... I was tired at this point and just pushing pushing to get to the top of the river, I knew once I got there it would be about 7km to go (it was actually more like 8k, how disappointing! LOL) and running down the river is my favourite run. So still slogging it ... once I got to the top of Te Moana Road I walked while I had a drink, thought about having a gel but decided to push myself to 30km and stick to my gel/10km plan.

29-35km: 6:08, 6:17, 6:46, 6:13, 6:55, 6:05, 5:49
29k (6:08), whoops! going to fast Lisa ... slow down, you still have 6km to run! I was feeling pretty good again at this point, back under the trees, going slightly downhill and I could smell the finish ;) Walked after the 30km beep, so at 31km for the last gel and drink and then carried on, faster again. 6:55 is across the bridge and a last walk and drink and then the last two km home. Hurray for the Forerunner, I actually added a small block once I got close to home because it wasn't going to be 35km. Pushed the last 2km and finished strong ... felt strong too. Until I stopped and felt like collapsing!

So all in all, pretty darn good, all went to plan :) My legs were sore and I felt really dizzy when I finished, but by the time I'd had a shower and some lunch I felt pretty human again. Went down to see a friend at the local soccer tournament, stood and walked around there for an hour or so, by last night my legs didn't feel too bad. This morning they feel pretty darn good - I can feel them, but definitely not too stiff and sore. I was worried that I had run too fast for a long, slow, training run - but perhaps not :)

So now ... bring on tapering and bring on the marathon! Short of a disaster in the next few weeks, I can't have trained any better. I've run every training run (managed to avoid being sick or injured), I feel like I've done the mileage ... it will all be up to what happens on the day now. I can't wait until its done and over! LOL

We've had a lovely quiet Easter weekend, I at chocolate Saturday night because I knew I'd run it off yesterday (and thoroughly enjoyed it guilt free!), the kids haven't overindulged (because we're mean parents like that) ... today brings more tidying up of my bedroom (I've spent time this weekend throwing out my old life in clothes).

Hope you are all having a good Easter too :)

First trip out with my new toy

aka Wizard, hmmm very original. I've seen people name their Garmins, I just thought it was a bit silly then when I was setting it all up on the computer it asked for a name, um, eek, I dunno .... wizard!

I still have some reading and playing to do - I thought I'd read the instructions quite well and knew what buttons to push to get it started, but for some reason got the virtual racer on the screen - I just wanted the time and pace really, so still some nutting out to do. It did work though - yay! It beeped every 1km so I could look then to see what our pace was.

Deirdre and I ran the Campbell Mill run, so it was never going to be consistent good pace, it is off road, muddy and rocky and hilly - a really good training run though :) I have to say I was impressed with the GPS ability, there are some parts of the run that are through quite dense bush and it was fine ... so definitely success there. The next big test for it will be next weekend when I run the Waitarere Half Marathon, its not called "The Great Forest" run for nothing!

Anyway, back to our run and my new mate "Wizard" - I couldn't help giggling when I noticed the tiny little person standing with his hands on knees "resting", while I waited for Deirdre to finish climbing a gate and stretching out her calf muscles, I thought that was pretty cute.

The biggest problem I had with it was when I got back, I noticed about half way through it had switched to "time" mode and thought maybe I'd lost the GPS signal, but it continued beeping each km so obviously not. But when we got back to the car I pressed "stop" and then tried the reset button (like I'd read to finish off that run) and it didn't seem to do anything. It obviously hadn't done anything because as I drove off it beeped another km done! I need to have another read and play to make sure I get that right.

I got home and downloaded the data and after a bit of playing around and reading the instructions, I finally got that right and managed to upload the run (yay me!) ... I love all that data, it is my sort of heaven! (poor Deirdre just rolled her eyes and laughed at me ;)). I can see me really enjoying being able to analyse everything (yeah, what a geek LOL).

Hmmm I was hoping I might be able to copy pictures over, but maybe not. Might just be too technical for me.

I do like the fact it gives you total running time, taking out the stops ... although I've always felt that is cheating a bit, in a race if you stop, its counted! But today we stopped a couple of times to climb gates, talk with Deirdre's friend who biked it (it is such an "out of the way" course, that the friend doesn't actually bike with us, but likes to know we're out there if anything happens).

So total time (including stretching afterwards by the car, talking and then hopping in the car before it beeped at me again!) was 1:45:18, total running time was 1:35:55. Total k's were 14.04 - although that was with the little drive before it beeped! LOL

Splits? It would take too long to type out, they're not great on paper - but if I could get the elevation map to copy somehow you'd see why, even the downhill is really steep (and really rocky), so slow going, you can't speed down - too dangerous!

Anyway, good test for the new wizard, and a good training run ... so all good (except one of my nice new sparkling white shoes is covered in mud :( )